Sunday, December 24, 2006

The New World Order: What you can do to help!

I came to a realization today that the coming New World Order is inevitable, and resisting it isn't worth the effort. With the combined might of international banking, commerce, whole governments, and royalty behind them, they're simply too powerful to stop.

I know many of you are in agreement, so to make all our lives easier, and to cut down on the number of potential "disappearances", I've put together this little guide. Feel free to ask questions and leave comments as soon as you can, while it is still legal to do so.

Section One: The Consumer

1. Where to shop: From this day forth, it will be in your best interest to shop only at approved chain stores and big box retailers. As members of the NWO, it is their duty to make the consumer's life easier by limiting the amount of choices they have, both in terms of merchandise and retail outlets from which to purchase.

This is facilitated by forcing smaller independent stores and vendors out of business by driving down prices (and therefore gross profit). A larger chain store can offer you better prices on NWO-approved brand-name merchandise, thanks to a larger supply chain and the ability to buy greater quantities cheaper. So save your money, shop at a chain store.

2. What to buy: We all lead such busy lives. With work, school, the kids' soccer/hockey game, meetings, deadlines, housework, it's hard to find the time to educate ourselves about the latest products, services, vehicles, and technologies. Thankfully, the retailers of the NWO realize we're all such busy people and have given us help in the form of advertising. They are only too happy to help you ascertain your needs, and will give you helpful suggestions, several times an hour, in the form of TV commercials, radio spots, flyers, emails, and in-store promotions.

The retailers of the NWO are able to meet the vast majority of your needs through marketing research, sale and purchase of personal information, data mining, demographic studies, consumer profiling, and surveys. Where there is a demand, there will be a supply. And the NWO will always ensure a demand.

3. How to buy: The retailers of the NWO humbly accept most forms of payment, such as cash, credit, or debit. However, credit and debit cards are recommended, as they're more convenient than cash, and also aid the retailers and marketing firms in consumer profiling and demographic studies.

Eventually, you may find yourself struggling to pay off credit cards, loans, and debt accrued as a result of overspending. Never fear, the financial wing of the NWO is here to help, for a fee. Whether it's financial planning, a consolidation loan, or just a couple of bucks to help you get by, they're there for you!

I do hope you found this little guide helpful. I'll return with Section Two: Entertainment in a few days. Again, if you have any questions or comments, let me know while you still can!