Sunday, March 23, 2008

Frequently Asked Questions (updated 03/21/14)

I've had a few people emailing me with the same damned questions over the last couple of weeks years, so I thought I'd put together a mini-FAQ in order to better serve my not-so-adoring public.

Q. I love your nickname! Are you really a conceited jerk?
A. Yes, for the most part.  It's all about me, baby.

Q. Are you a sociopath?
A. No.  I have been given a clean bill of health in that regard.  I just don't like certain types of people or personalities.

Q. Are you single?
A. No, I'm happily married.

Q. Why does the title of your blog include a version number (4.0, 5.0, etc)?
A1.  I have a nasty habit of becoming bored and/or disenchanted with blogging (and the internet in general) from time to time.  When this happens, I either go on a hiatus or end the blog entirely.  I invariably end up regretting this decision and start it up again.  The version number indicated the number of times I've done this.
A2.  Someone (likely a self-appointed blogging expert) once told me that the average "readable" lifespan of a blog is only a couple of years.  I tend to enjoy mocking convention, so each revision marks the end of one lifecycle, and the beginning of the next.
A3.  Each revision is a chapter in my life.  As this is largely a personal diary I've posted to the web, if you were to read my blog from the beginning to the end, you'll notice that I've changed a number of times since 2006 (or 2002 if you read my old website www.conceitedjerk.com before I started here).
A4.  I switched to a different site/blogging system (Tripod, Blogger) or changed its format, and revised accordingly.
A5.  All of the above.


Q. Who is this Nadia?
A. Despite my referring to Nadia as "her" or "she", Nadia is a "what" and not a "who". Nadia was my beloved Macintosh Powerbook G3 "Lombard", who has since been retired.

Q. Why did you nickname your house the Palatial Mattrèssor Manor?
A.  It amused me to do so.  I live in a hundred-year old house in the working class section of West Kildonan, so my house is anything but palatial.  In fact, it is really showing its age.  The Mattrèssor part stems from an old alias I used to use, Airt Mattrèssor, which itself stems from an in-joke between myself and my friend Dean Koshelanyk (aka deank).  On Knew Winnipeg Dot Com, a now-defunct Google Group which was the precursor to The Winnipeg Sandbox Forum, Dean was trying to type a sentence containing the words "air mattress or" but somehow it came out "airt mattressor"... which I thought sounded like the name of a "Latin Lover" type character from an old black & white movie.  So I added a grave accent and adopted it as my nickname with the tagline "I am Airt Mattrèssor, billionaire playboy".

Q. Why isn't your blog (or your website) updated more often?
A1. I don't have much to say.
A2. I did have something to say, but someone else has already said it better, and I hate being a "me too".
A3. Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ get the lion's share of my attention, along with any thoughts that might have turned into blog posts.
A4. I'm busy drinking.
A5. I have an active social life away from my computers (less so since the wedding), interacting with people in person rather than electronically.



Q. Why don't you allow comments on your blog?
A. Because frankly, I don't care what you think.  Most internet commentors seem to be either loathsome trolls, racists, or are just plain ill-informed, and I refuse to deal with any of that shit on my own blog.  The only feedback I'm interested in is guitar feedback!

Comments are however allowed for Blogger/Google+ users. I won't allow anonymous comments because I believe everyone should have to sign their name to what they write and take responsibility for what they write, instead of hiding behind the relative anonymity of the Internet like the spineless fucking cowards they are.

I'm also tired of spammers.  I don't have a lot of free time to spend deleting spam.  I also have little to no time for (or interest in) engaging in debate on anything appearing here.  I'll clarify statements I've made and will make an attempt to answer relevant questions when I have time, but don't expect to have any sort of discourse apart from that.

Unlike some people, I don't spend hours upon hours on my computer every day.  I'm an adult, I have an adult life, and adult obligations outside of the internet.  I have no time for book-smart pseudo-intellectuals whose social consciousness was formed by the Internet.

Q. What, exactly, is your blog about?
A. The focus of my blog is broad, and vague.  It's about nothing, and everything.  Mostly, it's about me, my experiences and observations, and a bit of (anti-)social commentary.

Q. Why don't you write about something constructive? Like politics or current events?
A. I write about current events as I experience them; I will not quote, reference, rehash, or reinterpret newspaper or news site articles (or worse, someone else's blog) for my own purpose. There are plenty of other local blogs do cover politics et cetera better than I care to do.  To me, politics is a fool's game. We seem to deal with the same shit over and over again, regardless of who is in power. Even with fresh faces in the political scene, nothing ever really seems to change. It's always the same old arguments repeated ad nauseum. Frankly, politics makes me want to hit people... ditto for issues like city planning, urban renewal, and rapid transit.

Q. Don't you ever think before you post?
A. Rarely, if ever. I prefer to use my blog as a spontaneous, off the cuff, knee-jerk reactionary outlet, as it captures my true feelings concerning a particular subject at the time of posting. I prefer this method and I find it's a great deal more honest, and not peppered with half-assed rationalizations and/or justification. My motto has always been "Justification is for people who lack conviction".

That said, a lot of my writing has a moral buried somewhere within. Sometimes it's obvious. Sometimes it's not.  Sometimes I'm wrong.  Sometimes I'm not.

Q. Why do you name your computers?
A1. Short answer? I'm completely mad.
A2. Long answer? It's a holdover from my Project Planner/Implementation Coordinator days at a previous job as a warehousing/logistics specialist, where everything was assigned a project name by the higher-ups. This practice, which I was forced to use, soon carried over to my life outside of work, where I used it when working on several similar computer projects at once.

It all started when I did a buyout of several dozen identical computers from a failed dotcom. I wanted to tailor specific machines for certain tasks, while I fiendishly experimented on others. It got to the point where I was unable to keep track of what I was doing on which machine, so I started designating or "naming" my machines and writing a project manual on each in order to keep track.

Desktop machines and servers were named after cities or countries, while portables and laptops were typically given women's names (as in "my girl friday").

Q.  Why do you feel you need to write multiple paragraphs when a single sentence will do?
A.  Just to screw with you.  Attention spans are getting shorter, and people nowadays don't seem to want to (or know how to) wait.  I'm not shortening or condensing anything I write.  If you want to hear my message (such as it is) you will work for it.

Seriously, though, I wrote freelance for a number of years, and I'm used to padding my word-count.

Q.  How much of this blog is factual, and how much is made-up bullshit?
A.  All of it.