Part One is here
The following is a true story I just made up.
Needless to say, Supertanker Steve was not impressed. "What's the point of putting it out if we can't drink any?" he bellowed.
Our head shipper delivered his carefully rehearsed line, "That coffee is there as a courtesy to everyone, not just you. You can have a cup, but don't be filling that bloody supertanker up here!"
"Fuck, you guys are a bunch of cheap fucks!" was Steve's well-reasoned response, "You can't afford a couple of pots of coffee?!"
He stormed out, forgetting his customer's package.
An hour later, I got an angry call from my customer. Bear in mind I have no idea what has transpired.
CJ: Good afternoon, Moron Industries (fictional). Shaun speaking, how may I help you?
Cust: Where the Hell are my parts?
CJ: Who's speaking?
Cust: Jimbob at Turnip Brothers. <--- fictional
CJ: Oh! Your order was ready... I know Snailspace was here, I saw Steve at the counter.
Cust: That's bullshit. He said the order wasn't ready when he was there!
CJ: That's odd. I'll find out and I'll call you back.
So, I walked across the building to our shipping department, to speak with the head shipper. He told me what happened. I patted him on the back, and phoned the customer to let him know.
CJ: Hi JB, It's Shaun. I've gotten to the bottom of things. Looks like your courier was here, but forgot your box. Did you want to call him back, or shall we ship it out to you on our courier?
Cust: He told me it wasn't ready.
CJ: Well, our shipper assures me it was, and he's a straight-up kinda guy. But, it's a "he-said, she-said" situation. What would you like us to do?
Cust: I'll see if I can get him back.
This was at 1pm. At 4pm, Jimbob called back.
Cust: What the Hell is wrong with you guys? My driver was there AGAIN and said the order wasn't ready! I need those parts!
CJ: That's not right. I saw the box sitting there with my own two eyes. Something's wrong. I'll get Shipping on the line.
Ken: Shipping, Ken speaking.
CJ: Hi Kenny. I have Jimbob from Turnip Brothers on the line with us. He's saying that Snailspace was by to pick up the box that they forgot the first time around, and were told it wasn't ready. He's very upset.
Cust: I NEED THOSE GOD-DAMNED PARTS! I HAVE A MACHINE THAT HAS TO LEAVE IN THE MORNING!
Ken: I've been back here all afternoon, and I haven't seen hide-nor-hair of Snailspace. He's never been back!
CJ: And you're absolutely sure of this? Maybe they sent another driver? Did you take a bathroom break or anything?
Ken: No, I haven't left my area, and nobody from Snailspace or Turnip Brothers have been here.
CJ: Well, Jim, I suggest you give Snailspace a call. If they're coming back today, tell the driver to ask for me. The box will be on my desk in the office. There will be no mistakes or "he-said, she-said".
Five o'clock rolled around. "Ahhh, Closing time," I thought.
Looking at my desk, I noticed Snailspace hadn't picked up. I gave their
office a quick call and got their machine. Hmmm.
Thank you for calling Snailspace Courier Express Winnipeg. Our office
is currently closed. Please call back between the hours of 7:30 am and
4pm, Monday to Friday. Thank you for calling Snailspace. (click).
Crap. I'd hoped they'd have an emergency or afterhours line.
So, I gave the customer a call, and got HIS machine. I left him a
CJ: Hi JB, It's Shaun at Moron Industries. It's currently 5pm on
Thursday, and I haven't seen your courier. I'll stick around for
another half hour just in case he's running late, but I'd be prepared to
give them a nasty call in the morning. If you get this in the next few
minutes, give me a call on my cell at ###-#### and I can drop the box
off to you on my way home.
I ended up waiting until quarter to six, and nothing. I prepared myself for the angry phone call in the morning.
(to be continued)