Thursday, September 15, 2016

Ten Famous People: A Bucket List (Prologue)

While outlining the next installment of my Never Let Your Magazine Run Dry series, I browsed the selection of magazines in the Issuu app on my new tablet.

On occasion, someone will make scanned (and sometimes edited) versions of commercial publications available, the legality of which is questionable.  One such publication was an old favourite of mine, Modern Drunkard, which I haven't read in some time.

Years ago, while I was still a regular reader, Modern Drunkard held a fictional drinking tournament called Clash of the Tightest, where sixteen famous drunks from history faced off in individual drinking contests until only one drunk was left "standing".  The series kept me entertained (and loaded) for months!

So, imagine my delight when I found that the magazine had started a new contest with sixteen more famous drunks!  Unfortunately, only the first four rounds have played out, but I am eagerly anticipating the next round!



I kept myself awake last night, thinking about some of the famous people throughout history with whom I'd like to share a drink.  The usual suspects came to mind: Winston Churchill, Al Capone, Michael Gross, Genghis Khan, Vlad Tepes, Carrie Nation, Karl Marx, Mohandas Gandhi, Pierre Trudeau, et al, but they're on everybody's list.  Or so I'd assume.

Before finally drifting off to sleep (and undoubtedly interesting dreams), I started compiling a long list of (in)famous people who are still alive with whom I'd love to drink.  It was a fairly long list, comprised of politicians, actors, musicians, athletes, newscasters, authors, writers, journalists, and people who had achieved some degree of notoriety.

I pared down the list on the bus ride to work this morning, which didn't take much effort.  I had so many names I couldn't possibly drink with them all, so I needed to filter out the undesirables.

First of all, I thought about what I wanted to do.  This was my bucket list of people I'd like to drink with.  Specifically, this was my bucket list of people I'D like to drink with.  Given that I am quite particular about the company I keep, the most obnoxious and boorish people were cut from the list.

Next, I thought about my typical social situations.  I'm an introvert by nature and am not a PARTY! kind of guy, so hanging out in a crowded bar in a party atmosphere is right out.  Thus, the real party people were eliminated.

Thirdly, I prefer situations that are small in scale and personal, like a private booth or small backyard barbecue, so the real crowd-pleasers and social butterflies were eliminated.

Next, I had to research my list.  Some of the people on my list were disqualified, mostly because I didn't know they had died recently and probably couldn't respond to an invitation (former AWA wrestler Nick Bockwinkel, for example).

Out of the hundred or so people on my list, I've eliminated all but fourteen.  Of that fourteen, I've narrowed it down to my Top Ten, with four Honourable mentions.

Over the next eleven days, you'll find out who... and why... in ascending order.

You might be surprised at who made the cut.

And why.