Tuesday, December 26, 2006

CJ sells out!

It's certainly been my week for selling out...

First, I decide to kill off a major part of my web site in favour of a blog.

Then I decided to sell off/liquidate most of my older computers in favour of my Powerbook running OS X.

And today, whilst on ebay, I bought an iPod.

An iPod. The very symbol of consumer excess. The very thing being ridiculed on my site's index page.

So, why buy one? Well, I need a new MP3 player. My old RCA K@ZOO is Windows-specific, and I don't use Windows on a regular basis. I've tried to find a way to interface the device with Linux, Solaris, and the Mac OS, but to no avail. Every other MP3 player on the market seems to be tailored specifically for Windows, leaving me with little alternative.

I figured, since the iPod is, well, ubiquitous, it'd be supported by many different operating systems. Sure enough, it's natively supported in Mac OS X, with support available for Solaris, Linux, and Windows, so I'm safe regardless of what platform I'm using at the time...

I picked up a 20Gb model, which should hold roughly half my music collection. With over 500 CDs in my collection (I won't pirate, I mean, "share" music), my Powerbook is going to be busy converting my music into digital format.

I think I'm going to need a bigger HD. Especially once I hit the iTunes Store...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

The New World Order: What you can do to help!

I came to a realization today that the coming New World Order is inevitable, and resisting it isn't worth the effort. With the combined might of international banking, commerce, whole governments, and royalty behind them, they're simply too powerful to stop.

I know many of you are in agreement, so to make all our lives easier, and to cut down on the number of potential "disappearances", I've put together this little guide. Feel free to ask questions and leave comments as soon as you can, while it is still legal to do so.

Section One: The Consumer

1. Where to shop: From this day forth, it will be in your best interest to shop only at approved chain stores and big box retailers. As members of the NWO, it is their duty to make the consumer's life easier by limiting the amount of choices they have, both in terms of merchandise and retail outlets from which to purchase.

This is facilitated by forcing smaller independent stores and vendors out of business by driving down prices (and therefore gross profit). A larger chain store can offer you better prices on NWO-approved brand-name merchandise, thanks to a larger supply chain and the ability to buy greater quantities cheaper. So save your money, shop at a chain store.

2. What to buy: We all lead such busy lives. With work, school, the kids' soccer/hockey game, meetings, deadlines, housework, it's hard to find the time to educate ourselves about the latest products, services, vehicles, and technologies. Thankfully, the retailers of the NWO realize we're all such busy people and have given us help in the form of advertising. They are only too happy to help you ascertain your needs, and will give you helpful suggestions, several times an hour, in the form of TV commercials, radio spots, flyers, emails, and in-store promotions.

The retailers of the NWO are able to meet the vast majority of your needs through marketing research, sale and purchase of personal information, data mining, demographic studies, consumer profiling, and surveys. Where there is a demand, there will be a supply. And the NWO will always ensure a demand.

3. How to buy: The retailers of the NWO humbly accept most forms of payment, such as cash, credit, or debit. However, credit and debit cards are recommended, as they're more convenient than cash, and also aid the retailers and marketing firms in consumer profiling and demographic studies.

Eventually, you may find yourself struggling to pay off credit cards, loans, and debt accrued as a result of overspending. Never fear, the financial wing of the NWO is here to help, for a fee. Whether it's financial planning, a consolidation loan, or just a couple of bucks to help you get by, they're there for you!

I do hope you found this little guide helpful. I'll return with Section Two: Entertainment in a few days. Again, if you have any questions or comments, let me know while you still can!

Friday, December 22, 2006

New Year's Resolutions for 2007

Originally, I'd intended to write a cynical bit of diatribe about Christmas shopping and shoppers, but frankly the experience hasn't annoyed me as much this season as in previous years.

No, this year, I was able to finish my shopping with reasonable efficiency, and little to no stress involved.

Leaving me with nothing to write about, and therefore no real means of testing Ecto, the blogging software I'm using right now.

But wait!

Why not post my New Year's Resolutions now, instead of a week from now?

Alright, I talked me into it. So without further ado...

CJ's Resolutions for 2007:
Drink more coffee. Experiment with different types.
Finish active projects
Sell off or liquidate old computers and equipment cluttering my lab
Explore all the capabilities of Mac OS X
Finish (start) my website redesign
Build my rack-mounted Unix supercomputer
Take unfair advantage of the Internet as a publishing/distribution medium
Hell, take unfair advantage of anything as a publishing/distribution medium
Write my book
Make it into the newspapers at least once.
Be a right pain in the ass to society at large
Two words: regular podcast
Rekindle my love of cooking. Again.
Host more gatherings at my place
Finish (start) my home renovations

So that's it. Nothing TOOOOO difficult!


It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

I gave up trying to effect a positive change on local culture long ago. Beliefs and habits are so firmly entrenched in our society, that trying to make people see the light (so to speak) has proved to be a daunting, nearly Herculean task.

It was enough to make me want to scream "Fools! I'll destroy you all!" as only an evil genius can.

Problem is, I'm only "middle-genius" and really not that evil, only cynical and misguided.

So, instead of building a remote Polar hideaway where I can amass a private army and build my Doomsday Device relatively uninterrupted, I settled on a Powerbook G3 "Lombard" and a length of black iron pipe instead. It seems so much more intimate than, say, a multi-terawatt satellite laser or something, and nothing beats the personal touch.

That said, in lieu of trying to effect a positive change, I've decided to make fun of society instead. And what better medium than the Internet?