My doctor is not a pill-pusher by any means, rather extolling the virtues of diet and exercise. He expressed confidence that we could solve my problems through dietary changes and changes to my daily routine, which is something I've done before and know works.
He gave me a goal, "I want you to lose twenty pounds by your next appointment in December".
It's three months since that appointment, and I'm sorry to say I've gone in the other direction. This morning, the scale read 237lbs.
I won't make excuses, I've been laissez-faire with regards to my diet, and downright lazy concerning exercise. It shows, too... I get winded easily, I'm always tired, and tying my shoes is an unnecessarily difficult ordeal. So, with two months to go until my next appointment, I find myself in worse shape than when I began. Two months in which to lose thirty pounds.
This has been, pardon the pun, weighing on me for the past couple of weeks. Which is unusual, because I don't normally suffer from body image issues. Ultimately, I decided to say fuck it, status quo, and I'm happy the way I am. That is, until this morning.
With early morning temperatures on the cool side, I decided it was time to break out the autumn wardrobe. I found most things to be a bit snug... my Mario Serrani coat uncomfortably so. It's wearable if I leave the buttons undone, however if temperatures drop, I'd need something I can close up. My long pea coat still fits, as I bought it a size too big in order to accomodate a wool sweater, sport coat, or blazer underneath. Sadly, I no longer need to wear a blazer to fill it out.
I thought to myself, "CJ, I think it's time to reconsider your diet and exercise regimen."
After politely telling myself to fuck off, I tried on a few more coats. Most of them fit, some didn't. A number of the ones that fit my size no longer fit my taste, so I threw them on the pile to be donated. Of the coats that didn't fit, all but one were of no value to me and would also be donated. That one remaining coat was a brown suede coat of late Sixties/early Seventies vintage, one of my favourites.
CJ, three years and thirty pounds ago
It broke my heart when I couldn't fit into the coat. It may not be the most stylish, but it was the most me, and together we turned some heads. While I no longer care about turning heads these days (marriage to one's soul mate will do that), I do care about looking good. I'm vain that way.
So, in order to fit the coat again, I changed my diet. I ignored the doughnuts gifted us this morning by a customer. On my lunch break, I skipped McDonalds & 7-Eleven and opted for low-calorie tomato soup. I had water instead of pop, and I walked to the store to buy it all.
I've vowed to drop the pounds, not for my health, but for vanity's sake.